Titus Quotes Edit

Lost in a sea of confusion and self-doubt

Some students seem to have dysgraphia: an aversion to graphs.

You said it, not me [after a students makes a self-deprecating joke].

I am the living embodiment of fun.

I will light your chromebook on fire

Put away the book before I light it on fire.

Bad spanish jokes are mine.

Justin Bieber could beat you up.

I will dropkick your computer.

I’ve never been wrong in my entire life.

Learning is the worst.

Joy and happiness come to die in my classroom.

Do you need your hands cut off?

As a math teacher, I hate trees.

I’ll beat up Keegan later.

If it is on Youtube, it must be true.

James, why don’t you just take a hammer, pick whichever finger you like the least and crush it with the hammer.  

I like my daughter more than you.

That’s foolish. Please break one of your fingers. Alternatively, you can pull out your toenails with a pair of pliers.

I’m going to give you the finger, Stefan [hands him plastic finger]

You don’t wanna die, you wanna be injured horrifically and then sue.

Almost only counts in hand grenades.

Don’t get old, it causes health problems

My access to things like time have been limited

I do love the hippest dance moves of the 2015s

If it’s a bad comment, it’s they. If it’s a good comment, it’s we

You are a bad person.

I love wearing tutus! But only on the weekends.

Two major appeals to men: pride and women.

Some of Nathan [Lee]’s energy is seeping into me and I’m becoming stupider.

Your names… combined… make a… word. I deem you… the perfect couple.

Never be nice to William Tong.

Hashtag, like, jump-in-the-air-freeze-frame.

Mr. Bey's "You are..." QuotesEdit

You are an imposter!

You are a collection snubber!

You are a hoarder!

You are in error!

You are a library deadbeat!

You are a desk defacer!

You are a desk bully!

You are a desk intimidator!

You are a crevice violator!

You are a stapler usurper!

You are a usurper!

You are a chair misuser!

You are an alley cat!

You are a seal!

You are a pithy writer!

You are a grade bully!

You are a paper sabeuter!

You are a weapon simulator!

You are politically incorrect!

You are a seat usurper!

You are a note-taking deviator!

You are a grade manipulator!

You are a nascent nailclipper!

You are a carpet corrupter!

You are a basket neglector!

You are a notes interloper!

You are an under-desk usurper!

You are an under-desk interloper!

You are an encroacher!

You are a Nazi!

You are a nasal excavator!

Mr. Bey's Medical DictionaryEdit

Pre-nursing Home Syndrome

Type One: You are taking your pen apart at your desk

Type Two: You are rocking back and forth in your chair.

Transition Phase: You see little green men on your desk.

Type Three: You are reaching out for other people.

Sea World Syndrome

You are looking in other classrooms and everyone in the room is observing you.

Elvis Syndrome

You "Elvis" the dictionaries on the shelf, leaving imperfect indentations.

Self-dismissal Syndrome

You seem to believe that you can leave without being dismissed.

Harpoon Syndrome

You lean back on the whiteboard like a harpoon has been shot through you.

Metal Plate Syndrome

Your head constantly is attracted to the Smartboard because there is a metal plate in your head.

Floating Desk Syndrome

You lift up your desk with your legs and it "breathes".

Adolescent Snow Syndrome

Every time you look out the window and it is snowing, it is as if this is the first time you have ever seen snow, as you fix your gaze on the strange white particles.

Paper Suction Syndrome

There were 60 copies and 45 kids and now there are 0 copies yet still 45 kids.

Jumping Jack Syndrome

You jump out of your seat as if you were startled.

Multipurpose Room Syndrome

You are talking/yelling/shouting as if you were in the multipurpose room.

Pinball Machine Syndrome

A combination of Adolescent Snow Syndrome and Jumping Jack Syndrome. You jump out of your seat to look at the snow, like the flippers hitting the ball in a pinball machine.

Gerund Jump

This infamous condition ails the victim by causing him/her to mark every word ending in -ing as a gerund.

Participle Pounce

Coined by Gianni Hsieh, this slightly less severe illness causes the victim to mark every word ending in -ed or -ing as a participle. This illness can conflict with Gerund Jump for obvious reasons, causing brain damage and severe trauma.

Infinitive Incompetence

Coined by Nikhil Sivapatham, this minor illness rarely affects the bright minds of Panthers. Nevertheless, students occasionally mark every phrase starting with "to" as an infinitive. Also known as Type 2 Preposition Prejudice, credit to Bethany Simos.

Preposition Prejudice

A term coined by Bethany Simos to describe mistaking a preposition for a verbal. Type 1: You think that the words "concerning" or "considering" are participles even though they are prepositions. Type 2: See Infinitive Incompetence

Self-Seat-Reassignment Syndrome

You seem to believe that you can sit wherever you please. Happens often during Supervised Study.

Chronic Counting Syndrome

You keep looking at the clock and in your madness, you repeatedly state how many minutes there are until class is over. Fill in the blank: We only have ______ minutes left! 

Alley Cat Syndrome

You like to prowl around in the alley between the ramp and the Pod.

Self-Scheduling Syndrome

A peculiar mental affliction in which you seem to believe that you can make your own schedule (trips to the water fountain, etc.).

Mr. Bey's Miscellaneous QuotesEdit

The first ten minutes of Supervised Study is silent.

Thanks for coming!

Sign 1

Sign 2

Sign 3


No, the other <Insert name>.

Thank you, Mr. Bey.

You're sitting up straight, facing forward, feet centered under the desk, back parallel to the back of the chair, books centered up on your desk, and chair pulled in.



Hoist the chairs!

We are dismissed!

<Student 1>, sit down. <Student 2>, sit down. <Student 3>, sit down. <Student 4>, sit down. <Student 5>, sit down. <Student 6>, sit down...

Sergeant at arms!

When grading, be meaner than a junkyard dog.

What a cacophony in sector <Insert number>!

Ooooooh... the frigid winds of rejection...

Worry about the D-O, not the D-U-E! (Occasionally, you can worry about the D-E-W)

Oh man, that's really cool! Them dotted lines are going right down the middle of my car!

Prepare to be socially ostracized!

"Lucy in the Sky" (with Diamonds)

I am not addicted to you!

Constructive criticism... not YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!

We have an excellent usurper!

There is no future fairy!

There is no carpet fairy!

Are you Bidening me?

Psychedelic psychedelia

You have been sabotaged!

Don't just sit there and think "derp!"

Turn to them and say, WE ARE DOING THIS ALONE!

High school social life!


Another simple solution to a complex problem!

We have an imposter!

You chose not to bring your assignment.

Instead of packets, we have documents.

Instead of homework, we have assignments.

Deep-fried Greek columns

Welcome back!

Mr. Bey seconds: 60 seconds, 50 seconds, 23 seconds, 10.3 seconds, 5 seconds, 2.2 seconds, 1.5 seconds, time!

Prowling around like a Panther

Do I look like the amazing Rubberman?

Your seat is for your seat, not your feet!

What are you doing, the Watusi?

And the world is once again, safe for democracy!

You're encroaching...

There is no plasticine porter with a looking glass tie.

Now, don't do a John Hancock!

There is no great god Ferrinus.


Mr. Bey's Private Enterprises - Meetings Conviently Occur During 6th Hour!Edit

Café 201

Speed Lessons

Focus Classes

Gender Confusion Clinic 201

Juggling Clinic 201

Comedy Club 201

Laughing Managment Classes

Time Management Seminar

Grammar Clinic 201

Calmness Clinic 201

Heartbreak Hotel 201

Swipecard Jail 201

Noise Control Clinic 201

Mr. Bey's Index of PoetryEdit

Some wear pajamas,

Some wear pants,

What does it matter,

Just so you can dance...

At a social whist party!


There once was a man with his feet on the seat,

Which is just as crazy as his seat on the feet.

Noticed by Bey,

His feet did not stay,

Up in the seat for his seat!


There once was a man named Green,

Whose Anne Frank text he had not seen.


There once a man from Timbuktu,

Whose limericks ended at line two.

Student QuotesEdit

Esculent! (Bailey Chen)

Tuft Luck (Gianni Hsieh [popularized by Bailey Chen])

Look at that Rotter, one two three! (Bailey Chen)

Mr. Dundeee! (Gianni Hsieh [popularized by Bailey Chen and Michael Tuft])

Aiya(h)! (Most Asians - and Asians at heart)

Bob the Dinoflagellate (Jakob Myers)

Cosine, secant, tangent, sine, three point one four five one nine. Square root, cube root, BTU, sequence, series, limits too. Rah. (Spirit Stick 2012-2013)

It's not just Gambia. It's THE Gambia. (Bethany Simos)

Steam machine! (Mr. Bey [popularized by Chris Ng])

House party! (Jakob Myers)

My dad's a pilot and when you see a duck, you gotta hit it with a shovel (Jack Brandt)

If it aint white, it aint right! (Radin Yarandi)

Unskilled worker (Gianni Hsieh)

Das bad (Gianni Hsieh)

So funneh (Gianni Hsieh)

Luftwaffle (Gianni Hsieh)

Because they're sadistic (Adam Brown)

Dumb child (Gianni Hsieh)

Interesting seat you have there... (Jack Brandt)

That is incorrect. (Sam Qunell)

I ain't not never gonna say no negatives never again. (Sam Qunell)

Gupta (Bailey Chen)

Gupta child (Gianni Hsieh)

Sussess! (Liam Roh)

Let's not be doing that. (Liam Roh)

Stabbing tool (Gianni Hsieh)

Cutting tool (Gianni Hsieh)

Womana (Gianni Hsieh)

I ATE THE STICKER!!! (Mark McCabe)

My cookie is gay. (Claire Liu)

Beansie (Evan Liu, popularized by William Tong)

False cactus (Emma Garlough, popularized by Dantrell Cheng)

Meep (Helena Hsieh)

Mi novio es comida (translation: My boyfriend is food) (Evelyn Krupicka)

Can you not? (Evelyn Krupicka)

Mark is a bully (Isabella Zhou)

*the chimney song* (Claire Liu and Zayna Quraishi)

What do you mean, say something from my soul? I have no soul! (Amanda Larsen)